Not quite a happy first but...

I did spot a first tear today... as I was holding her to try and comfort her, a lone one slowly rolled down the corner of her left eye :(

Oh well... it was bound to happen.

She's fine now... we're sitting at the computer listening to Beethoven Piano Concerto No 5 in E Flat Major.... after this will be Ode to Joy....

People have asked me numerous times over the past couple of months if I'm scared, ready, or excited about having a child.... I think I'm coming around.... I think I'm starting to realize that I'm not going to have the time or the resources to put in that I really want. As I think back, I'm wondering if there is really anything that could have done, or that someone would have said that would have really made me realize this up front.

Oh well.. she didn't quite make it through Ode to Joy... I guess she didn't like the quieter beginning that the song has.... after a bit of me trying to convince her to listen and that the song would get better... I handed her off to her mom for a try.

I think she is starting to gain a bit of consciousness though... consciousness of things around her, maybe partial control/consciousness of her hands and fingers. On a scale of 1-10, I'd still put her down around 2 or 3, but progress nonetheless.... exciting to see and notice all the little things... I wonder how much more Bethy sees from the 24-hour constant view, or if I get a slightly better/fresh view in that I'm away for at least a couple hours a day.

I never doubted that this was going to be a learning experience for Bethy and I as well, and I know there was no way to really gauge the impact of having a child on one's life is, but I guess I'm still a bit surprised. :)

Almost bedtime....